Sunday, November 27, 2005


You know those times when you have to make a choice, but both outcomes will suck? Well, today was one of those days. Outside, it was windy as all hell. 15-20 mph winds with gusts more than that. Inside was the CycleOps. A trainer ride. The lesser of two evils was the wind. And let me tell you: I was the man for about an hour and thirty mintues. 28mph with very little effort. Then for the next two hours and fifteen minutes, life sucked some hairy ones.

Dear Mr. Wind,

From now on, will you please give me a tail wind on the way home instead of on the way out? Much appreciated.


If you know Mr. Wind, please make sure you relay this message to him. It is important to me.
Thanks again.

Friday, November 25, 2005

The "Jan" Plan

Thanksgiving was yesterday. That means for a few days, I'm on the "Jan" training plan. You know- eat too much, get fat, and then make excuses come race time. I already have the fat part down, I just added to it with turkey, stuffing, and beer yesterday. I'm still working on excuses. Let me know if you have any.

Well, the little lady wanted to go to Islands on the way home from Thanksgiving festivities today, as if we didn't eat bad enough yesterday. I can tell you one thing I learned: don't do a trainer workout shortly after a basket of cheese fries. Not a good idea. In fact, I would recommend staying away from the cheese fries in general. From what people tell me, they aren't very good energy food. But what do I know? I'm old, fat, slow and out of shape. Maybe it's 'cause of a few years of cheese fry type eating.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Things that suck, part 2

Things that suck, updated:

  1. Wind
  2. Trainers

Yep. Today was my first day of indoor training in years. I forgot how much it sucks. Back in the day, when I had no real job to speak of, training indoors happened if it was raining. And even then it was rare. Riding in the rain beats training indoors.

But, now that I'm old and fat and have a real job, there's no time to ride during daylight hours. So I shelled out three bills for a new trainer and busted it out today. A few intervals and a few more buckets of sweat later, I had my workout for the day in.

Really, though, who am I to complain. It could be worse. At least I get to ride on the weekend and I don't live where it snows. Riding in the snow would really suck. Then you'd hear me bitch to no end. So to all of you who live where it snows, I say Thhhhhbbbbbbtt!

Monday, November 21, 2005


Okay... first off, no B.S. My boy Matt is nuts (in case you haven't seen it, Having said that, you gotta give it up to him. He sacked up for what he believes in, which is more than most of us ever do, and it's caused him nothing but grief.

Did he go about getting his message out in the best possible way? Probably not. His over the top rants and accusations with seemingly little solid evidence have hurt his credibility with any mainstream media and have given his critics ammo to use against him. And use it they have, costing him a team last year.

Still though... all of you that are laughing at him don't have half the sack he has. More sanity? Maybe, maybe not. I haven't yet read your rants. You could be nuts too. And I don't know if you got a pair. Matt does.

And Matt, if you see this - fight on, but fight smart. People will listen to you if you listen to them sometimes too. If the most important thing to you is to get your message out and fight doping, do it in a way that people will be receptive to it. I want to belive this is what you want to do. If I'm wrong and you just wanna make noise...well then, I read you wrong.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Things that suck

Things that I think suck, in no particular order:
  1. Wind

Currently, that's about it. Dammit, it was windy today. Wind sucked when I wasn't old, fat, slow and out of shape. Now that I embody all those qualities, wind sucks even more.

On my way out, the wind ruled. I was flying and I felt like a champ. Then I saw the flags. Then I had to ride back home. Through a canyon. A canyon that funneled the wind right in my face. So, again, things that suck:

  1. Wind

That is all.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

So Cal and sore asses

So Cal is a blessing and a curse. Great weather. No excuses on why I can't ride. So I guess I gotta get my fat ass up in the morning and ride. I guess it wouldn't be a comeback otherwise.

Found this today - here's some excuses on why you didn't ride today. Go here.

On another note, my ass is going to be sore as fuck tomorrow after today's first long ride.

Inhale! Hold it..... hold it...

And...... exhale.

Old, Fat, Slow, and Out of Shape

Goddamn, I'm slow.

I used to be kinda fast. Of course, I used to not have a job. And my bike was worth more than my car. And I wasn't married. And I had no house. And for some damn reason, I miss those days.

So, against my better judgement and with some wifely opposition, I thought I'd take a shot at racing my bike again. Why, you ask? Hell if I know. It's not like I have the time. It's not like I'd have anything to gain. It's not like I want to crash. I just wanna ride.

You see, five years ago I woke up, went for a ride, showered, played some video games, then put in my shift at Blockbuster. Rinse and repeat. Then on the weekends, after weaseling out of a shift at the 'buster, I'd hit up Podunk Criterium and if I was lucky take home a tire prime or win enough cash to pay for the entry fee and gas on the way home. Most likely however, it'd just be the tire prime and some chump with "Mercury" or "Colorado Cyclist" on his chest would take any cash to be offered. Well, at least I didn't have to buy tires that month - that is if the tires didn't suck... which they probably did.

Then I got a job. The bike went on the wall and didn't come down. Then I got old. And fat. And slow. And out of shape. And here I am.

Which brings my back to my original point. Goddamn, I'm slow. I found that out this morning on my first group ride back. Old, fat, slow, out of shape, and dropped. Bastards.